le sigh…

17Mar06

Can thank you cards give you a nervous breakdown? I feel extremely overwhelmed these days. We still have to write thank you cards from our wedding (yes, I know… Gasp!), from our East Asia vision trip, our new staff training, our monthly supporters, and everything else we never said thank you to, but thought a million times over in the last few years of our lives.

We’re also in the midst of fixing up our condo (Josh has been working so hard!), getting it on the market and sold, raising support full time (supposedly), looking for a new home to buy, working full time, and doing ministry. Thank goodness for Josh or I would not have any sanity at all.

And instead of turning to the Lord, I find myself retreating to my old ways of getting lost and avoiding reality. Usually it plays out by watching TV, playing online, and shopping – the usual mindless stuff but this time around, I am just baking a lot of mini cupcakes.

During the PSU Epic meeting yesterday, we shared our passions. And I expressed that I desperately want to be passionate about the Word and about prayer, but somehow my actions don’t reflect that. There’s a definite disconnect between the desires of my heart and the desires of my mind. And I don’t know how to connect the dots.

I think I’m honestly just exhausted at this moment. Maybe all the lack of sleep has finally caught up to me.

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